22 is still young...right?

"we thought we were running away from the grown-ups, and now we are the grown-ups."
--margaret atwood

this was my friend's away message today (thanks Laura). and it kinda freaked me out a little. louis asked me the other day during rehearsal what my "plans" were for next year. i must have looked like a deer in headlights 'cause he was like, "oh, sorry, wrong question."

plan? what plan? since when has there ever been a plan? should there even be a plan?

what happened to the plan to have fun? i like that plan. i'm only 22--i shouldn't feel like everything is closing in on me. do you have any idea how much medical insurance costs? it's ridiculous. i was making a budget over break and was like, "so, i can have my smile fixed if all my teeth fall out, but i can't afford a freaking dental cleaning once a year."

when does one officially become "grown-up"? is it an age limit? a state of mind? a series of gradual decisions until you wake up one day with the realization that something is different?

and what does it really mean to be "grown-up"? i still don't know what i want to do when i grow up. what if i still don't know in ten years? i'm against making definite plans and schedules. some people might call that a fear of commitment, but i call it a commitment to remaining open to possibilities. you just never know what'll drop into your lap or hit you in the head as you turn the corner. it's better to be prepared for the unknown. it's easier to change the plan when you don't actually have one.

ciao, liz